You know how yaoi inexplicably tends to feature at least one of those yaoi pheromone-riddled slash scenes?
Right, I'm beginning to have this weird and uncomfortable feeling that maybe, *maybe* I'm releasing these X factor pheromone thing that yaoi waxes so lyrical about. It's either that or I'm going slightly off the bend.
Because honestly, what a strange week I've had enduring clumsy pick-up lines coming from such inappropriate directions.
I get an email message from this guy (I assume he's a guy o.O)- let's call him Jide since that's part of his email address. He addresses me by *name* and self-deprecatingly wonders if I have forgotten him. He wants to be friends yet mystifyingly refuses to reveal his identity.
My first impression: He's trying to scam my non-existent money. Boy-O, I totally have no idea who you are and your one line intro along the lines of "Oh, you prolly can't remember me but I'd love to have a drink with you sometime!" reminds me of badly-spelt love letters and being 14-years-old. Coy is not a good look especially if you approach me all cloak and dagger-like *online*.
Anyway, I was all curious because - Hey, he could be Archangel from the Midvalley Career Fair that I met and totally fell into crush with. Because whoa, Archangel is one dreamy package. Of course, Archangel also works in my office (or well, the wing across the road) and has since the Fair totally forgotten my existence but there you go. I gave "jide" my msn anyway.
Wonderful thing about MSN - you can always block them if they start weirding you out.
So that was the first case.
At the start of my attachment in my new Dept, I had a project with the shittiest timelines you can imagine. I worked together with Tiger practically around the clock trying to get everything done and it was close to nightmare-ish levels. During our close-to-midnight sessions in office, we were camping out at Workaholic's office.
Workaholic - Senior Manager, *very* nice chap without any sort of stuffy managerial air about him whatsoever. He's also, I gather, slightly a pushover and works under Darth Vader. To be fair, I think Vader would bulldoze over everyone. It's tiring trying to have a conversation with Vader. He forces his opinion on your with a wrench and a really big mallet. Anyone would be pushovers under him.
Anyway! Workaholic, good egg. We got quite chummy with him, since working around the clock tends be a good bonding catalyst. Last night, I bumped into him in the guardhouse whilst he was playing solitaire on his phone.
I was talking to him about work in general, asking how he was coping (busy as ever, as per usual) and reminded him on the meeting we were supposed to have next week.
Workaholic: Huh? What meeting?
Me: The meeting, remember?
Workaholic: Ey, you sure meeting or dating?
As I type this, it's a lot of nothing, really. He just said it in a teasing manner and we laughed uproariously over it. Just, y'know. Sort of inappropriate? Seeing as how Workaholic is like, married with two kids - aged 7 and 3 years? o.O I could've sworn it was somewhat flirty...
Probably the most odd and slightly disconcerting one.
I went to FRIM (Forest Reserve Institute of Malaysia) to recce the place for an upcoming event I'm handling for work. Had to liaise with this FRIM dude who was also a pretty nice chap. Could've sworn he was gayer than a dance around the May pole, though. He has a slight soft laughter and dip as he flapped his hands occasionally while he talked.
Yea, for some reason, Gay FRIM Dude has taken to giving me miss calls at heck-o-hour at night. He has messaged me after work (around 5pm. Ha! Semi-gov workers) to ask inane things like whether I am busy or not, what am I doing, etc etc. Today, I called him up in office to ask about work-related things for my event and he was all, "Did you miss me?" so I humoured him lar. Anyway, honestly Malay dudes have a whole different sort of conversational dynamics with ladies compared to Chinese dudes so I thought he was just being, y'know. Normal.
Until he starts telling me how busy he is, and that he is jogging after work everyday to "maintain" (his girly figure) and here I am, holding the phone away from my ear with a fish hook for an eyebrow, wondering if the chap is trying to Pick Me Up or just bonding with another sista.
All the while this is going on, I am slightly confused if maybe this is how he talks to *all* of his clients - his weird PR way of friendly banter/stalking. I. Don't. Know.
Anyway, it's disconcerting. I don't like to feel like I am stalked. Even slightly, by seemingly mild-mannered Gay Dudes.
A part of me thinks that it's probably also because of my somewhat sheltered life, wherein I am totally used to guys treating me "normally" not like some... hot chick they try to pick up.
Also, normal Chinese guys my age tend to not be forward like Gay FRIM Dude At All. Well, to me. Which in some ways may signify a toll of doom and a partner-less future as they are not interested in me that way but I'm really very comfortable with the normal conversation I get out of it, so I am perfectly all right with that.
I can't imagine what it's like to be Hello Kitty. The poor lass is simply besieged with guys who want to get into her pants *all the time*. She might be used to it but I would be totally freaked out and trying to communicate to them to stay the bloody hell away.
P.S. Ha! "Jide" messaged me on MSN and turns out to be a *student* from Nottingham University that I met last year (hello.) whilst I was still interning with HR at a Career Fair. I remember him. I also remember my Nottingham Uni friend's advice that Nigerian boys in that campus do *not* have a good rep.
Cut off his questions on whether I had a boyfriend or not by telling him I was married with a kid and blocked him from MSN.
*bemoans* Why can't guys hit on me with polite yet lame jokes and be earnest and endearing in a witty manner? Why can't they be more like... Fictional BBC Merlin/fictional David Cook or something?
[/stops watching so much TV and resets expectations accordingly]